Countless couples have tried couples counseling to find out the problems in their relationships. Marriage statistics have shown nearly 50% of couples who have been trying to end up by taking divorce has saved their marriages with marital therapy. Studies have shown that only 10 to 20% of couples in some counseling had experienced significant improvement in their relationships.
The problem is usually not a couple, but the therapy. It was not your fault, but the wrong assumption of traditional couples counseling. The wrong assumption is that everything will be fine in a marriage with improved communication skills. In fact, more communication in happy marriage can actually make things worse, not better. If communication is destructive, you will only end up as an unhappy married couple.
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Marriage is not a 50/50 relationship. Many couples understand this, but a common problem is that a person ina couple feels that he/she is providing far more effort than others. Finally, both of them feel that they are making heroic efforts just to put up with each other and develop a 'martyr syndrome'. Perhaps you feel this pattern emerging in your marriage, but this is one example of many harmful patterns that generally develops in marriage.
Happily married couples have more of a relationship, more than love and good communication skills. What they have, whether intentionally or by accident, is a system. The problem is that most couples get married and have never been taught how to have a good marriage. This is a bad strategy. Having a system in your marriage is the foundation for good communication which provides a way for your relationship.